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Saturday, June 14, 2003
"The underground man imagines that someday life will be governed by a sort of 'table of logrithms' allowing one to look up exactly what one will be doing at any moment of the future. Man will be enlightened and happy, we are told, when he recognizes that 'he does not have either caprice or will of his own... and that he himself is something like a piano key or an organ stop, and that, moreover, laws of nature exist in this world, so that everything he does is not done by his will at all, but is done by itself, according to the laws of nature.'
..."Such a vision strikes the underground man with horror because it would provide us with happiness at the expense of our freedom. This, and every other 'scientific' utopia, would be a prison because our lives would not be our own: we would do nothing, accomplish nothing, but only receive the goods and experiences planned for us. But the sense that our lives are our own is what people require first of all, or nothing else matters. What happens to me must to a significant extent be the result of my own choices, however mistaken, or there is no me."
--Gary Morson, Introduction to "The Gambler" (quotes by FD)
"I staked that gulden on manque, and there really is something peculiar in the feeling when, alone in a strage land, far from home and from friends, not knowing whether you will have anything to eat that day-- you stake your last gulden, your very last! I won, and twenty minutes later I went out of the Casino, having a hundred and severnty gulden in my pocket. That's a fact! That's what the last gulden can sometimes do! And what if I had lost heart then? What if I had not dared to risk it?"
FD, "The Gambler"
hdouble 12:14 PM
Friday, June 13, 2003
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/030612/170/4dnhg.html&e=1
hdouble 10:04 AM
Thursday, June 12, 2003
Thanks for the words D-- the first poem is awesome--
"oh, if only the gods had never forged
the chain that curbs our excess"
That is great. Whose is it???
Watched Big Bad Love last night. Amazing movie. Just a serious, excellent film-- I'm amazed that it survived the Hollywood process. I wanted to write a review today, but I was just completely blown away by the whole movie. I need to watch it about 10 more times, if I can steel myself to stand the depression it causes.
But driving in this morning, I at least found some sort of description that satisfied me-- not quite a review, but enough to get a handle on the movie. This morning I thought of how I would describe the main character, and the word that came to mind was "Beat"-- we even see what look like whip marks on his back, and can only guess what they are, since the film leaves it to our imagination. I'm not sure if it was in "The Source," but someone claims that the origin of the word comes from an expression of describing a person who is so down, so lost, that they are "beat to their socks." The speaker then talks about the perversion of "Beat," and describes the rich college kids who tried to embody the spirit of "The Beat," but of course were a bunch of phonies. Just the name-- "Beatnik"-- symbolizes the perversion of the idea of the person beat down by life: just add a Russian "nik" and now you have a movement.
"Big Bad Love" is about a man who is truly Beat. Although I haven't read much Burroughs or Ginsberg, the movie's flashes of the humorously surreal smelled of "Naked Lunch," and the audience is forced to decipher whether or not the events they saw on screen happened in the "real world," or were just part of the main character's vivid imagination. We are also hammered by music, the blues of Burnside and more bring us along for the Beat, coming in at every turn of the film. But what makes the movie great is the unforgiving, unrelenting story of the beat put on this man, this artist who is seeking happiness. There are so many opportunities for cliche--
-the artist transforms his suffering to beauty through the pen
-the man struggles to overcome his past, his childhood
-the injustices of society tear down the artist
-the "on the edge" artist has only humorous surreal visions
--but these cliches are thrown out the window, and the viewer is forced to grasp with the same beat that the main character faces. It is not clear what kind of "transformation" has occurred through art. It is not clear if our hero overcomes the demons of his past. Injustice is looked square in the face. The surrealism is used not only for humor, but to bring us into the world of the hero.
The creators of "Big Bad Love" have succeeded in telling a story of the Beat artist, an original, modern story that addresses some of the oldest and most important themes in life and literature.
Much thanks to D, who once again has sniffed out a winner. Thanks for all the stuff you have put me on to-- and be careful with your suggestions, after so many winners, if you told me that the Fountainhead was worth a shot, I would probably have to read it based on your track record.
hdouble 8:15 AM
Wednesday, June 11, 2003
here are some new suggestions. where do you think theý come from?
oh, if only the gods had never forged
the chain that curbs our excess
one man's fate curbing the next man's fate
my heart would outrace my song, i'd pour out all i feel -
but no, i choke with anguish,
mutter through the nights.
never to ravel out a hope in time
and the brain is swarming, burning -
and the other:
and fear not lest Existence closing your
Account, should lose, or know the type no more;
The Eternal Saki from that bowl has pour'd
Millions of bubbles like us, and will pour
david 5:05 PM
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
In case anyone wanted to play online poker, I think it is a good way to learn, but I'm fairly confident that the house is cheating. Basically the house keeps a percentage of the pot, so it's to their advantage when the players have monster hands (thus they bet more). As evidence, I remember a 3 hour string where I saw 7 4-of-a-kinds! 7!!! The probability of seeing a single 1 is something like 1 in 3,000, so that was enough to convince me that the fix is on. Playing online is good for learning, but save teh big money for the real casino.
hdouble 10:31 AM
Monday, June 09, 2003
I am now about +100 in my poker era, not counting the $90 tournament I entered, which puts me almost dead even. Interestingly, I have played the 2-4 limit 5 times, and lost each time. I can't beat that game. But at the 3-6 limit, I have played 3 times, and winnings were $20, $250, $300. Basically the 2-4 is a wild game full of bad players, which really bring you down to their level. I am improving rapidly and should move up to 4-8 soon.
More importantly, I brought Matt along on Saturday for a marathon 5 hour session. The kid played pretty tough-- made a couple big mistakes, but for the most part played excellent (way better than I did my first time). He was up over 100 at one point early on, but slowly dwindled away to a single stack of $20. But he hit a huge full house on almost the last hand, and was saved. Anyway, the final result Matt +2 H -40. There were several good players at the table, although there was little strategy going on due to the low stakes.
hdouble 9:44 AM
Sunday, June 08, 2003
how long did you play for? how the hell did you pull that much? how much did you start with? and how are you for the entire "poker era" of your gambling? up or down how much in other words.
david 2:05 PM
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